“Geodesic” says Jonny as we’re cruising down the road.
“Huh?” I say, the expanses of Mendocino County rushing past us.

“Geodesic dome” he says, pointing to this little dome roofed hut off the side of the 101. I start writing in this journal, observing all of the beautiful Madrone trees.

My Levi 501s are dirty, adding a little character to them after this camping trip. I’m still wearing my blue outer space shirt from last night. Besides brushing my teeth and putting contact lenses in, I haven’t done much in the way of personal hygiene.

We’re probably 15 miles outside Laytonville now, headed South back to San Francisco–woooo. It’s been a fantastic camping trip. We’re just passing the blind horses now in Willits.

***
25/5/17 — Saturday Morning — Fort Badass — Mission District — SF

It’s about 8:30 AM and I’m feeling a bit of a sore throat. I’ve got the blue pop t-shirt on, and a cleaner iteration of the Levi 501s on my gams.

Mizzle and Jonny eat turkey bacon and eggs. We watch Arsenal versus Chelsea at the house. Arsenal got a single goal in first quarter, coasting 1-0 until half-time. Jonny keeps freaking out every time Arsenal blows a clear shot on goal. “Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!” He yells. A true fan.

Half-time hits and it’s time to roll out. The three of us walk down to the car, loading it up with our stuff. We’re off now to his family home in Novato to grab Beowulf, the huge F-350 we’re going to bring camping.

Jonny is streaming the audio from the second half of the game, British commentators voices echoing out of the speakers. I can’t help but get into the game–Jonny’s enthusiasm proves to be contagious. “I just want Arsenal to win so I can gloat over my sister, she’s a Chelsea fan!” rings Jonny.

Beautiful views of the San Francisco Bay avail themselves as we roll on over the Golden Gate Bridge, enhanced by British commentators yelling “GOAAALLLLL!!” and Jonny cheering ecstatically in the driver seat. We get to Jonny’s house in Novato and find Crissy’s crew already waiting. The boys head inside, and I mill around a minute before I go in to grab a glass of water.

There’s a freshly sabered bottle of champagne on the ledge overlooking the sunken living room, where inside a huge TV screen is playing the Chelsea vs. Arsenal game. It’s like I can’t escape the ‘footy’.

Liv, Nick, Rachel, Chrissy, and Chris are seated down in the living room. I walk into the kitchen, to find Jonny’s sister talking about the saber. It’s a small heavy thing, the blade about eight inches long. It’s sitting in this cool wooden holder, blade down. Jonny’s sis shows me a video of her sabering the champagne–very well done. “It’s my party trick” she says.

Jonny pours me a warm glass of water and throws some ice in it for me. I’m befuddled, as I feel the heat from the glass on my hand. These Californians sure hate to waste water by running the tap I suppose. Soon Dimitry and Britt arrive. I talk to Jonny’s dad and say hello.

It’s not long before we’re loading up Beowulf. I toss my Gregory 85L backpack in the covered pickup of that F-350XL Supercab and we set off as a huge convoy. Beowulf leads the pack, followed by Dimitri and Britt; Chris(sy), Nick, Liv, and Rachel; and finally Nick and Allison.

“Oh shit, the music isn’t working” grieves Jonny in horror. “This happens sometimes” he moans. We fiddle with the settings a bit, but nothing seems to work. “Sometimes you have to turn the car off” says Jonny. “Ah…The ol’ turn it off and turn it back on again trick” I say.

We pull the car over to the side of the road, and pop the door open to shut off the stereo (since it’s a Ford). The convoy is in confusion now, and the fix doesn’t even work. So we keep moving, and then pull over again a few times, really confusing the hell out of everyone else.

Jonny calls Chrissy and tells them to keep it rolling. We stop in at a Chevron parking lot to try and fix this. It’s futile, nothing works. I grab my Jambox bluetooth speaker out of my backpack, and we just end up playing the music through that.

Beowulf cruises up US-101 headed north towards Mendocino county. Soon the trees yield to rolling burnt orange hills. “These were all green a few weeks ago” remarks Jonny. We keep on cruising, and begin to enter the forests of Mendocino as we leave those burnt hills behind us.

Rocky cliffs start to dominate the landscape. Mizzler teaches us this game called “contact” that is really fun. Jonny’s on the horn with Chrissy now, and we all decide to rendezvous at the Wal-Mart in Ukiah. Nick and Allison have already beaten us to the camp-site.

As we pull into the vast parking lot of Wal-Mart, my stomach grumbles. “Let’s ride around in these things” I quip, motioning towards some electric scooters we pass in the entrance to Wal-Mart. A subway presents itself on the left as we enter into the depths of a Super Wal-Mart. I’m so hungry.

Lots of cheap Fourth of July / Memorial day gear is on display here. We grab a cart and immediately get a little lost and disoriented–the intended effect of the store’s design. We need some alcohol and charcoal, but other than that we’re sorted.

I buy smore stuff, and I’m trying to determine just how much chocolate to buy. I ask the chubby mother of two trying to control her kids just beside me in the snack aisle.

“I would say four bars…Although if you’re drunk you might just throw the whole thing on!” she laughs. It wasn’t that funny but she’s in good spirits so I laugh with her.

I’m walking with Jonny, trying to find a cooler for the rum punch he plans to make. We end up with some collapsible two gallon container. The volume level seems to increase in the shop. I start running into other members of the crew, one by one. Soon, 15 young adults are roaming around, pushing carts and getting ready to party amongst a sea of sad, depressed looking people doing their shopping. It’s on.

We’re in the beer aisle, studying our options.

“Coors or Hi-life?” says one of the boys.
“How about Natty Ice?” jokes Jonny.
“Jesus Christ” I say, shaking my head.
“We’re getting Colorado piss water” I say, grabbing a 30-rack of frosty Coors. We buy some more shit, and then hit the checkout stand.

There’s a sad collection of alcohol on a flimsy metal shelf behind the counter. Our checkstand is the “one with the alcohol” I grab the third to last bottle of Jamieson and Jonny grabs two handles of Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum for the punch. Everyone meets at Beowulf, and the whole gang loads all of their combined cargo in the massive pickup. We all resolve to meet at the campgrounds.

Car Beowulf and Car Brittany stop at Chipotle. There’s this large butch emo chick working the counter, and I grab a carne asada burrito bowl. I order it to go, low-key knowing that I probably will end up just eating it here anyways.

Jonny and I both have to go to the bathroom. There’s a single person bathroom with both a toilet and a urinal in it–no divider. “Fuck it, let’s both go”. So I’m pissing in the urinal while Jonny is taking a shit in the toilet. I’m done in short order, and Jonny says “Lock it on the way out” as I’m washing my hands.

I start to crack up “Oh dude, It’s going to unlock itself as soon as that door shuts when I leave! You’re fucked!”. There’s not much I can do to help him, so I walk out of there, leaving Jonny with his pants down on the can, 10 feet from the door. I lock it on the way out, but as soon as the door slams shut I hear a muffled “SHIT!!!” coming from the bathroom. I was right, it’s unlocked now.

I can’t help but laugh, all red in the face and giggling as I try to tell everyone the situation. We make a plan to walk in on him and give him a surprise. He’s just a s(h)itting duck in there. There’s a group of Asian tourists milling about as well, and we’re hoping one of them walks in on him first. One fast minute later, and he’s already back at the table. His shit was clearly ruined.

We make fun of Jonny’s burrito, it’s pretty fucking sad looking. Jonny’s burrito was more like a flour tortilla money-bag, the big husky emo girl at the counter just mashed it all into a big hunk with the tin-foil and called it a day. It’s a very BORDERLINE ‘burrito’ that’s for sure. It’s round in all the wrong ways. I’m feeling happy I got the bowl.

Britt, Mizzler, Dimitry, Jonny, and I are chowing down and chatting a bit. “This is great, we got to park in the shade…the cars will be cool” says Dimitry with a smile on his face.

“Where you from?” I say curiously.
“Well how far back do you want me to go? Conception”
I love backstories. “The whole thing, conception, why not?”
“Well from what my parents tell me, it was on a retreat in the Ural Mountains of Russia. At least that’s the story my parents tell me. I was probably a drunken mistake” he laughs.

He starts going through where he’s grown up, but my ear is just listening for that sweet F L O R I D A. “New Jersey, this is where I met this girl” he says, pointing at Brittany.

“Florida for a bit-”
“A-ha! I knew it. Your shade comment gave it away! You Floridians always go for the shade!”
“He was telling me to pahwk in da shayde!!” exclaims Brittney in a heavy New Jersey accent.
I felt like Sherlock Holmes for a second there.

Time to roll out. The boys and I hop in Beowulf, Jonny at the helm, Mizzle riding shotgun, and me laying down in the backseat for a little nap. We purr down the 101, heading ever north down towards Laytonville. “I’ve never driven this far down” remarks Jonny as we pass through the cute little town of Hopton.

We push on forward, passing some horses with full blinders on over their heads and eyes in Willits, CA.

“Fuck, that place looks decrepit” I say as we pass a worn out and abandoned looking MOTEL sign on the side of the road. “Decrepit, that’s a good word” says Mizzler.

A discussion breaks out on the word dilapidated, decrepit, and why bad words seem to start with “de”. We’re nearly there, and I’m getting stoked. Before long we’re pulling up past a sign on the side of the road that says ‘Mendocino Magic’. Jonny swings Beowulf up the windy road into the campsite.

There’s a clearing here with a bunch of cars parked in the lot. The ground is reddish dirt mixed with burnt orange grass. We see Nick and Allison, and swing Beowulf around to say hello. “We’ve just moved our car back here, the campsite is up that way” motions Nick.

We continue driving on the gravel road, further into the campsite. “MAX SPEED, 5 MPH” reads a sign upon a wooden fence. Some people block the road up ahead, and we slow down to a stop.

This little hardy early 20s looking girl approaches the window of our truck with an air of authority, and we roll out windows down to say hey. “Where you guys going?” she says, holding a frosty Pabst Blue Ribbon in her left hand. She’s holding it pretty high, so it’s probably pretty full.

“We’re camping…uhhh…not sure.”
“Cannonball? You with Cannonball Camp?” she says.
“Uhh…Hold on”.

I pull out my phone, and find the e-mail. “Mill Pond” I respond. She directs us to the campsite, and then parts with “Gotta deal with a rattlesnake…”

We drive onwards. “Did you see the gun she was holding?” asked Jonny. She had a little case for it in the other hand apparently. We park Beowulf and start unloading the whole gang’s supplies. Soon the whole crew is here to lend a hand.

There’s these sad little carts to ferry the supplies to the campsite, and Max and Jonny load one up and start pulling cargo to the site, while I grab armfuls full of stuff and do the same.

The whole gang was at the site now, and we start setting up camp. A banging sound rings through the camp as Max and Jonny hammer the stakes into the huge ten-man tent they would be sharing. The banging sound is interrupted by the sound of a gunshot ringing out over the campgrounds. I guess she found the snake.

C-dog, Britt, Nicole, and Dimitri were sharing one tent; Nick, Rachel, Olivia, and Steve in another. Nick and Allison had their own tent, as did Chrissy and Chris. I’m riding solo in a 2-man tent by the fire.

I set up my tent, then the slackline, and then finally my hammock between the trees. It’s a beautiful day.

“Oh, Steve’s here! I’m going to go get him” says Chrissy. Steve got a ride down to the campsite through a Craigslist rideshare, and miraculously made it down here in good time. He rode with a woman who had a weak grasp on the English language, and shared the backseat with a smelly shiftless fisherman trying to find work. He literally ‘missed the boat’.

“I kept the window down, he stunk. I kept alternating between being cold, and having the window up and smelling this guy. I’d rather freeze than smell that guy.” laughed Steve.

Jonny lit up the charcoal stove, and Alison busted out our dinner for the night. Ziploc bags of pre-cooked veggies, sausages, and meatballs. It was a grab a wooden skewer and create your own shish-ka-bob kind of meal. It’s delicious.

I’m many beers deep at this point. I started drinking as soon as we started unloading, and the pace has been swift. Rachel busts out a game of Jenga, and it doesn’t take long for people to get interested.

It’s Dimitri, Britt, Rachel, Max, and me at first. A bit of a debate breaks out on if you’re able to use both hands, or if you are allowed to touch other pieces. The sun begins to set on the crew, and the beers keep flowing. Some attempts to slackline are made.

Someone rips a paper bag in half and proclaims that we’re playing ‘pizza box’. “So you flip a coin onto the surface, and then do whatever the rule it lands in says what to do. If It’s a blank space, you get to make up a rule”. At first there aren’t many rules, but soon nearly every space of the ‘box’ is filled.

“Boys Dance” was a pretty memorable one, all the boys had to dance. Shotgun a beer, girls dance, coconut bra, or the mini-game “Thumper” were also pretty great ones. My Thumpers symbol was doing the dab. It gets too dark to read the board, so I bust out my lantern.

“Hey! Where did you find the lantern?” says Chrissy incredulously. It turns out that this cool lantern I found in the house was one of Chrissy’s forgotten items when she moved out a few months ago.

I’m wearing a coconut bra over my clothes, my punishment for flipping the coin on the coconut bra square. The stars are so beautiful out, and I’m playing with my super strong green laser, shining it up into the stars. There’s some serious sounds of nature coming out from near the pond. “Fucking bullfrogs” says C-dog.

***

I don’t know what time it is, but I’m laying in my sleeping bag now, getting ready to sleep. I can hear a funny conversation going on in the tent next to mine about first memories, something about wearing spaghetti straps to pre-school and being sent home. I drift off to the sounds of nature and giggly young adults.