We drive for awhile with Gibson, reaching the border at 11.30. Suddenly, I find myself dealing with a very strict exit guard. He doesn’t believe I’m the person on the passport–he thinks that I look too old. This is a typical thing with African border guards. They really try to project the power of their country by being truly annoying.

The three of us walk across no-mans-land and into Tanzanian passport control. I walk through the metal detectors and sweat a little–I’m afraid my knife will be confiscated. Unsurprisingly, no one seems to care. We approach the counter, and the two Fars are shocked to find out it’s $100 for Americans to enter Tanzania. Faryar asks for some written proof of this and the agent brings out this big binder showing the rules and regulations as a kind of passive-aggressive fuck you. I skate by with ‘only’ a $50 entrance fee.

Entry cleared for Tanzania. We move our luggage over to our new driver–Henry–and say goodbye to Gibson, tipping him $70 each for a total of $240 in shillings. We jump into Henry’s Land Cruiser and start driving south. We’re starving and soon stop at a restaurant attached to a hotel.

Time for a beer. We all order two Tuskers and I read off my Los Angeles restaurant list to the Fars which they both highly approve of—nice. I order a beef curry but decide to try to find a SIM card whilst I wait for the food to arrive. It quickly turns into a bit of an adventure, asking person after person in this middle-of-nowhere place where to find a SIM card. None of them have data plans.

A local named Jackson sees me struggling, and assists me in my quest. Finally we end up in some sort of courtyard market, constantly asking vendors if they have a nano-sims. This is taking far too long. After the SIM card doesn’t work I say ‘fuck it’ and leave. Of course Jackson wants a tip so I give him 300 Kenyan Shillings and he leads me back to the restaurant. Man I was fucking lost! Those one and a half beers on an empty stomach had gotten me all topsy-turvy!

I rejoin the table 45 minutes later, greeted by an emphatic “Where were you!” I chow down, finding the food to be the best I’ve had in Africa so far. We load up and hit the road, and we’ve been cruising ever since. We spend five minutes at a random market, finding it pretty interesting. Faryar buys some coarse fabric. I pee on the side of the road. Not much else happens.

Now we’re driving through the bumpy African massage roads of Tanzania. My buzz is slowly wearing off as I stare through the windscreen from the backseat. I notice the headrests are upholstered with blue plaid, like the Tanzanian Maasai peoples robes. We keep moving, onward. It’s been a few hours in Tanzania now.

We drive some more, entering Serengeti and right away finding some wildlife en route to camp. There’s about three lions laying around lazily. We park about five feet from them and stand up through the sun-roof to observe. One is feasting on a pumbaa, making some interesting sounds as he picks the meat off the bones. It looks like he got to eat last, as two other lions are fast asleep. Lots of other people in their vehicles are taking pictures of this. The sound of the lion ripping the skin is a memory I’ll never forget. We get a little nervous when one of the lioness’ keeps staring at me. She must have liked my beard. We quickly drop back in the car.

After that we drive about 100 metres to see a huge amount of hippos laying in a muddy channel. God it stunk like shit. They all just lay there in mud and feces, soaking up the sun. Periodically one would yawn or make some noise, opening its mouth 180 degrees to the sky. It was kind of hilarious.

We get going to camp. On the road we see an over-turned lorry on the side of the road. “Oh shit” I say. “Oh shit” says Farhad. “Oh shit…” says Henry in his Swahili accent. We all laugh about how funny the situation is.

Giggles aside, we keep going on some bumpy road, tearing ass on the straightaways. Motherfucker has got a need for speed. We get to this tented camp in the middle of a field and check in. The sun is setting quickly. I share a tent with Faryar while Farhad gets the single.

The ‘tents’ are awesome. Big tall structured ones with a rug thrown on the floor, presenting two well made beds with real pillows. Much better than the last place we stayed with the wet tile floor and no light. The bed was so soft. The bathroom is awesome, the shower is a pipe in the roof with a little wooden pallet to stand on under it. The staff prepare 20L of hot water for you beforehand and you just open the valve and let it wash over you. It’s so awesome that I forget about the 20L capacity and needed another bucket poured in the funnel.

Dinner is beautiful. Candle-lit under a dining tent. I enjoy two beers with my three course meal. This consisted of Pumpkin soup, some sort of goat curry with rice and a bit of salad, and then cheesecake for desert. 

After dinner I walked outside of the tent to stare at the open nothingness of the Serengeti. We’re in the middle of the park surrounded by nothingness. The stars look tremendously beautiful.

Serengeti means ‘endless plain’ in Maa, the language of the Maasai people.
I get it now.